A clever trick indeed........

If I had a hat on today, I'd take it off. I would, yes I would indeed. The old fella pulled out all the stops today and I'm duly proud of him for his achievement on our walk but more of that later.

First of all, we've been under instruction to stay at home and wait for a guy called Tyson. I imagined he'd be a huge monster of a man with muscles like Popeye. We were told that he would arrive between 7 and 8 so we both thought we'd missed him because grandad left for some work at 5am and we both got back just before 8am. Under closer inspection of his paper bill thingy, grandad had correctly noted "between 7 and 8" but on even closer inspection it read "between 7am and 8pm". Oh dear............

So, with all the means of current communication, the ability to put a missile on a toilet seat from a bunker 2000 miles away, Mr Tyson was only able to announce his imminent arrival somewhere in a 13 hour window!! In all fairness and to somewhat limited joy, a text message was later received saying he would now be here between 7am and 1pm.

To pass the time, we watched Ceebies on telly. They danced and I danced, they sang and I sang, they jumped and I jumped, they had funny stupid heads and thats where the similarity ends.... We decided to make some cakes from rocks. I've never had them before and probably won't again because they looked so cruddy and gooey to make and in typical grandad fashion, we didn't have any currants - actually I tell a tiny porky, he did but they ran out sometime ago (like when England won the World Cup). Instead he used chocolate chips!! How stupid will that be? They will melt, you silly old codger. Mixed up, made up and then both in and out of the oven and guess what? The chocolate hadn't melted!!!!!!! How does he do that?? Grandad made two lots of twelve rock cakes, some for home, some for Ryan's lunch and some to throw at passing motorists who were going too fast.

Tyson turned up at 11.30 and I was more than disappointed to find out he wasn't a big man or even a ferocious dog but a stupid vacuum cleaner! We waited in all that time for a hoover!!

Now onto my grandad's amazing feat (not to be confused with his amazing feet of which they are not). We went for our walk today but we didn't go too far because grandad left my shoes at my house and I only had my welly-bobs. We enjoyed a good stroll looking at the birds and cars and then just after halfway around, I asked for a cuddle. He picked me up and I promptly fell asleep of his shoulder. Its time like this when people like me, all of a sudden seem to weigh a lot more than they look. To make matters worse and this is where grandad really came into his own, Millie done a pooh. Dog in one hand, Dogg in the other and a pile of cack on the deck. I have no idea how he done it (not because he's clever but because I was asleep!) but he crouched down with minimal fuss to either dog and scooped the poop in one swift action. On getting back home, he let Millie go and then tried to de-jacket me without waking me up. Welly-bobs were easy, jacket not so easy as it has a zip and 127 buckles and fasteners that even Houdini couldn't escape from but he done it - AND all with the sack of cack still in his pocket - still intact sack of cack, he hoped!!!

When I woke up, I noticed grandad had put nine rockies in a bag for me, mummy and daddy and there were another nine on the cooly rack thing. None of the chocolate bits had melted and this had me tickled for ages. I had a little bit of lunch with grandad and we shared a rockie apart from the bits I spat at Millie. She didn't seem to like them too much. Hang on - my sums are pretty basic but nine rockies in a bag for us, nine on the rack minus one for our lunchtime pleasure means there are 17 left. It appears that the more Millie didn't like, somebody else DID like them and despite accounting for ONE, there seems to be a discrepancy in the total and SIX rockies are unaccounted for. It doesn't need a Cluedo expert to know who ate the rockies, in kitchen with nobody!!!!!!

Back to our evening meal preperation and grandad got some rice from his paddy field in the garden and we made chicken, veg and rice something (God knows what it was) for me and mummy and a sort of chicken curry for Ryan and daddy.

Another good day with the old chap to go with our second swimming session last Saturday where we were allowed to squirt people with squirters. Grandad, for motives unknown, decided it would be funny to squirt the mums and dads who were fully clothed and there to pick up their kids. They went home wetter than their offspring - and so did the swimming pool ceiling!!! My swim teacher, Helen, needs a check-up from the neck up if she thought giving grandad a water squirter was a good idea.

Catch you later, alligator

Dogg