THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN

We're back boys and girls, oh yes, we're back. Monday ended eight months sabbatical and start eight years sabotage!!! And what a great eight months it's been. Mummy pulled a long sicky from work called maternity leave which means she has it cushy for a while looking after me and my brother OB. He's doing really well and manages to crawl around the floor like Millie does and now, together, we are back in grandad's manor.

What a great time off I had, went to the seaside lots of times: once we all went with nanna, grandad and Millie, another time we went with nanna Jan, poppa Mole, Stevie and Tara (who's proper fit) and the last time we went as our own little family. Each time was great fun and I was allowed (well I think I was allowed) to ride my bike around the inside of biggy farmhouse we used. I went real fast, Millie hid under the bed and grandad made himself into a bridge - a practise he soon stopped after I cleared the walls at great speed but hit the 'roof' as it were. Grandad had to go and sit down. We went on the beach and down to the sea where we played for hours until daddy said he was cold, appears I have bigger cojones than he does. We made sand castles which was brilliant fun. I also took up the ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE whilst we were away.. Nanna filled the bucket with warm water but I wasn't having any of that, no way Jose! She needs to get up early in the morning to catch this soldier out. After refilling it with water of a more suitable temperature, I carried out a successful challenge and then I challenged the old fella to do it.

One evening we decided to make the biggest pizza in the whole world. I don't think it was meant to be but it looked that way at the end. Grandad and daddy made the pizza dough themselves, something I fear they'd not done before. If they had then they had missed something on this occasion. Grandad gave me my little red knife and a ton of mushrooms with the simple but highly important task of chopping them up. When they got all the ingredients together at the end, grandad looked for the mushrooms but didn't see them. He asked me where they were and I told him - I'd eaten them, ALL of them. Grandad said that he hadn't told me to eat them. HELLO! He never told me I couldn't either so I retract any responsibility for my culinary actions.

More on our summer break at a later date but Monday was the reopening of grandaddydaycare and I could tell that grandad was delighted to have us both over. Mummy gave grandad all the instructions he needed for the day and grandad duly obliged in messing them up: tea for dinner, dinner for breakfast, little nap for OB around 9.30 - WRONG - longer nap of an hour or two for OB in the afternoon - DOUBLE WRONG!! I helped grandad as I'm a big boy now, I helped him make the dinner for mummy and daddy in the nano-second that OB shut his eyes, I threw the clean nappy to grandad to change OB and I threw the dirty nappy to Millie for means of my own personal amusement. Grandad would then chase Millie with little chance for catching her and her soggy cargo.

I've got some great PlayMobil stuff at grandad's (and for purposes of advertising, loads of stuff from other people too), daddy found it in grandad's loft. It used to be his and Uncle Ryan's when they were little. Daddy was in the loft ages and he only surfaced after we'd sent out Search and Rescue helicopters. Daddy said it was like a gold mine up there which means grandad is now quite wealthy. We didn't take Millie for a walk today as grandad couldn't be trusted with OB in the buggy, me in one hand and Millie in the other. Next week he plans to take us all over the park, I think mummy, daddy and nanna are hoping for rain next Monday. I can see the worry in their eyes but does this mean that we'll no longer see the little man in town who walks with the limp? That will disappoint me a great deal as I'm bigger than her is. Will we no longer get to see the lady in not-many-clothes? That will disappoint grandad for reasons I'm yet to understand. All the JobShop people I see who have no money but still have continuous supplies of those bottles in paper bags, all the ethnic minority people in town called English. No, we must make a stand and allow grandad to take us all out, we will miss the town and more importantly, town will miss us.

Nanna came home to the obvious relief of me, OB and for some reason, grandad too. It was lovely to see her as she tried to creep in quietly without anybody noticing. Even Millie missed her coming in but I think she was nearly as tired as grandad. When mummy came home we sat down and ate the lasagne me and grandad made which was yummy as yummy can be.

Oh, one thing grandad mention to me was the ice rink that is coming to a town near us and that they get famous and interesting people to open the rink and I think turn on the Christmas lights. It appears, and I'm really saddened by this, that our town couldn't get anyone famous and furthermore anyone in the slightest bit interesting so we've got Joey Essex!!!!! Now please bear with me for a moment and read this next bit carefully, twice if needs arise. I am just over two and a half years old, Joey Essex is 24 years old. It would be correct to assume that Mr Essex is of a higher intellect than me and I would have to agree. I watched some snails and worms yesterday in grandad's garden and please correct me if I'm wrong: snails and worms slither across the path. Mr Essex once said and I quote "I can see its legs, man" when referring to a worm. On another occasion he was asked what hemisphere he lived in by someone clearly having some fun. "I think I live in East London now" came the reply. To grandad the fun wasn't not knowing which hemisphere he lived in but the fact that Mr Essex THINKS he lives in East London now. Sadly, the list goes on……… I'm going to write to our local council fella and put it to him or her that me, OB and grandad should turn on the lights. Hey, if jokey Joey can do it, I'm sure as hell that we can.

Can't wait for next week. Grandad said it'll take him a few weeks to get up to speed, nanna says it often takes him longer.

Catch you laters

Dogg and OB