Precision or not??

Today there was no grandad day because mummy was home and we went out to dinner with her mates and their kids. Despite no date with the old chap, I have a couple of things that have caught my attention.

Edinburgh, March 31st:Panda's aren't native to Edinburgh. Panda's aren't native to Scotland, the UK or even Europe but after a year or so settling into Edinburgh's Zoo, the mating season of the Giant Panda is upon us - or rather them. Zoo keepers have noticed Tian Tian and Yang Guang are starting to show signs that they are ready to breed. I currently have no desire to know too much about what the signs are but it appears that Yang Guang (the panda fella) is eating more bamboo and has been marking his territory by doing hand-stands. Grandad says if I try and mark my territory by doing hand-stands, I'm only likely to mark the back of my neck!!! Chinese vets have recommended artificially inseminating Tian Tian (the panda girly) but don't tell Yang Guang has he'll wonder whether all the effort was worth it. Apparently Tian Tian was artificially inseminated last year somehow from Yang Guang AND a panda fella called Bao Bao so she has a bit of a reputation already. Anyway, good luck to the pandas and watch out ladies if your husbands or boyfriends (preferably not both) tend to snack on a bit more bamboo than normal this spring.

April Fools Day? What's that all about? EVERYDAY is a fools day at grandad's house - fact! It is also Nanny Vi and Aunty Nanny Ann's birthday and grandad says there may have been born on this day for a reason. Grandad was taking Nanny Vi and Aunty Nanny Ann out for dinner at lunch time today (or is it lunch at dinner time?) and after a busy morning in town and clearing up dog puke (not Dogg puke), he planned with the precision of an elite SAS squad how long it would take, to the minute, to heat up the water and run the bath so, after 55 minutes, he made his way to the bathroom and ran the water under his hand to make sure his precision timing was right.

His timing was impeccable and he continued to run the bath whilst utilising the filling up time with a nice close shave. Shave complete and with another test of water temperature confirming all was tickerty-boo, grandad took an admiring glance of the closeness of his shave and then kicked his knicks somewhere in the direction of the laundry basket, towel placed gently on the sink and another look at the water.

"Hmmm......" said the wily old timer, "...this is taking a long time to fill up".

He tends to talk to himself when things puzzle him which frankly, is quite often. He checked the water once again and it was now starting to run a bit cooler. As he took his glance from the taps, something black caught his eye - the plug. He looked down at the plug hole in the bath to find it was indeed, still a hole. The plug was still in its place on the side of the bath!!! What seemed like ages but was indeed no more than a few seconds, grandad swapped glances from hole to plug to hole and back again before finally heard the penny drop as the water emptied itself down the drain.

A huge sigh could be heard throughout the neighbourhood as grandad realised his new found predicament, so splashed his face with the last remnants of the disappearing bath water. This was followed by copious amounts of smelly squirty spray and stuff from Uncle Ryan's dwindling supply. He put on the carefully ironed shirt he'd prepared earlier only to find it was worse than before he ironed it so he put his old one on again, added more squirties, collected the eagerly waiting dog and headed for his mums.

Their lunch itself was a wonderful hour, totally void of any mentionable incident but a very pleasant lunch. When grandad took them home, he popped in for a cuppa and a slice of birthday cake. Nanny Vi said he could only have a small slice as he has to lose weight but them asked him, on more than one occasion, if he wanted another bit once he'd eaten it - what was the point in a small slice and then another bit, Nanny Vi?

Before he went to work, grandad popped over to bring some bits for me. There was a big chocolate Heaster Hegg and a small bag. In the bag was a pair of Aussie shorts and a dinky, Dogg sized pair of Aussie Life Saver swimmers all the way from Australia where Uncle Jonny comes from!! They were brilliant and they were from Teacher Dolly's mummy and daddy - I thank you very much and can't wait to get them on!! Grandad then left mummy and Nanny Jan to dig the garden.

Thats all for now but watch this space

Dogg