Grandad's trip to the doctors
- i73225
- Apr 15, 2014
- 5 min read
I've got jet lag! I've not been on a jet, I've not been to some far off paradise, I've not even been to Hayling Island but I don't know my r's from my elbow at the moment. Today should've been grandad day but he came over to see us on Thursday at Chez Dogg and as luck would have it, daddy hadn't finished the garden digging so grandad had to help him. Friday we popped over to see grandad and nanna and on Saturday we went to theirs again because it was Ollie Bear Open Day - the official meet and greet of my baby bruvver. He didn't seem too bothered because he just slept and slept and poohed and slept again. Lots of people from all over the globe came to see us: Bev, Kayleigh, Ali, Paul, Harriet and Nanny Vi. They all had something to eat - except Nanny Vi who forgot she was coming and had something to eat before she came!! Me and grandad crept up to sit on Ryan's bed and along with Millie, we watched Peppa Pig for a while. We tried to have a little snooze but Millie kept licking my face, jumping on grandad's bouncy belly and chasing my toes under the cover. All these wrong days has left me feeling all over the shop - as they say up north.
Apparently I've not been to grandad's because he's a bit crook today. He must be quite bad as nanna made him phone the doctor and she waited with him until he'd phoned for a pointment. This exercise only helped in flustering the ever ageing old fella because he didn't speak to anyone to book his pointment.
"If you'd like to book a pointment, press 1"
"1"
"Please enter your date of birth in numbers". This bit makes it a bit easier than typing it all in letters!!!!!! - onezerozeronine..........
"10091872"
"Please enter your telephone number in numbers followed by the star key" Phew!!!!
"0781...............*"
"I'm sorry, we don't recognise your details. Please try again"
"If you'd like to book a pointment, press 1"
"1" He pressed a bit harder.
"Please enter your date of birth in numbers".
"10091872". This bit even grandad knew was right.
"Please enter your telephone number in numbers followed by the star key"
He tried the house number.
"0118...............*"
"I'm sorry, we don't recognise your details. Please try again"
"If you'd like to book a pointment, press 1"
"1" By now the phone screen was in danger of some serious damage.
"Please enter your date of birth in numbers".
"10091872".
"Please enter your telephone number in numbers followed by the star key"
He tried the house number without the code.
"941..............."
"I'm sorry, we don't recognise your details. Please try again"
It's pretty safe to say that my ever patient grandad was now becoming a little more than agitated. He said if he wanted to talk in numbers all day, he'd become an accountant - a fact I'm struggling to comprehend because he's thick!!!
"If you'd like to book a pointment, press 1"
"1". CRACKKKKK went the phone screen.
"Please enter your date of birth in numbers".
"10091872". Crack, crack, crack........
"Please enter your telephone number in numbers followed by the star key"
He tried the house number again but remembered he forgot the star key last time.
"941..............*"
"Would you like to make a pointment?"Oh dear. He'd been trying for the last ten minutes to make his pointment to see the doctor and it was still unclear how long it would be to make it now. People have caught terrible tropical diseases in Britain and died, been buried and had the pi..party in less time.
Finally he managed to make his pointment and fortunately it was for that very morning, about 15 minutes from when he'd made it!! Armed with his sore neck, his now damaged finger from pressing too many buttons and an order from nanna to get his 'old timer man test' done - he's been putting that off for a while, you know the one, for over 50 years old man test. He was given two doctors names and decided on the one he knew.
True to form, grandad arrived at the doctors at 10.15 for his 10.30 pointment with the doctor man. Grandad was mildly pleased when he found out the other doctor offered to him was a lady as he waited patiently for the buzzer. 10.30, 10.35, 10.40. Grandad was very calm about his forthcoming procedure but the extra wait wasn't helping. 10.45, 10.50, 10.55, 11.00 BUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ GRANDAD TO ROOM 10 PLEASE.
That bit didn't actually happen but in a happier world it would've done and my grandad would've been that soldier!!! He spoke to the doctor and told him of his pain and the doctor had a grope of grandad's neck and said "Oh, your glands are swollen". Now this man, a very nice man, has studied for many years to reach the top of his profession but with all due respect, nanna told grandad that an hour ago!! The doctor weighed grandad and seemed to snigger as he wrote the numbers down on his paper and he said, we need to lose some of that. Grandad said the doctor couldn't see the numbers properly and put his foot on the scales as he looked. Then that was it!!!!
Grandad asked about the 'man test' and the doctor asked what the symptoms were that are causing him concern to have the test. Grandad indicated that being the wrong side of 50 were symptoms enough as he believed. The doctor said that it was no longer the case. All that nervous worry about touching his toes (a somewhat challenging and ambitious act in its own right) and all for nothing. In a moments equal state of relief and discontent, grandad trudged back to the car to go home to nanna where he had to try and assure her that he hadn't bottled out but the test was no longer needed. I assume nanna will be phoning up the doctors to check this herself!!!
Massive good news is that mummy's friend, Rosie has had her baby now (one without a handle) so we have all three parcels safely delivered. Congratulations to Ali, mummy and now Rosie.
So there it is, no grandad day but with Easter coming up soon I reckon we'll get together for feasts of chocolate eggs and Freddo the Frogs a plenty. My jet lag is wearing off as I've been to the farm with mummy, daddy and Bear and we've had a great day.
See you all soon
Dogg
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